In case you needed something to laugh about...

The funniest thing happened to me tonight... Funniest thing/grossest thing; same thing, right?? Sooo as many of you know I work at a hospital as a nurse tech. I've been able to work alot more lately because I can't start taking classes until March. That's a whole 'nother story. Anyways, from time to time crazy things happen to me while I'm working. I've got quite a few stories, enough to write a small book. Ha. So I had just started my shift and was making my rounds meeting the patients, taking their vital signs and just making sure they had everything they needed.... I had done a couple of rooms already and walked into the third one. When I walk into a room for the first time I always do the general introduction... Hi my name's Whitney and I'm going to be your new tech... blah, blah, blah I proceeded to tell the man that I was there to check his blood pressure and he immediately starts freaking out. "Well you KNOW my blood pressure is going to be high NOW!!!!!!" I paused for a second and then asked him why it was going to be high. "Because you came in the room!!!! Anytime a BEAUTIFUL woman comes into my room my blood pressure always goes up!!! (Mind you he's SCREAMING.) I just kind of ingored him and told him that he needed to calm down and that we still had to check his bp anyways... People do all sorts of stuff to try to get out of having their bp taken up here!! I asked him if he was having any pain... He goes, "Only in my heart... you broke it in half when you said those hateful things to me!!!" (OMW) I got done with his vitals (his bp was fine.) and asked him if there was anything that he needed. "Is there anything you can do for me sweetie!!?? OH BOY, sure there is!!!! You can just stay in here with me and keep me company all night so I can look at your beautiful face, that's all." At this point I'm like OH MY wOooOOORRRRrrrDD!!! This guy is CRAZY!! I told him that it would be impossible for me to just hang out and keep him company seeing as I had 8 other patients to take care of. I turned to leave and almost forgot to write my name on the board so I went back and was writing my name on the board when he asks me if I'm married. I tell him no and that takes his level of freaking out to the next level. (if that's even POSSIBLE) "WELL DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND OR WHAT!!???!? LOL!!! I told him no and then he asks me if I've ever been kissed. I'm like, "NOooooOOOoo..." Sheesh, WHAT a creeper!!! He's 78, mind you!! Now he's REALLY freaking out... "WHAT, you MUST be lying!!!! You big liar!!!!!" and I'm like... "Ok well I'm leaving now you just call me if you need anything!"... Then he's like, "No you come here I need to tell you something..." So out of frustration I go over to see what he "wants to tell me" because I REALLY need to leave and get to the rest of the patients... Then he's like, "Give me your hand." I'm like WHAT?!?! Ummm NO." lol and then he starts spazzing out AGAIN! (Pretty sure he's halfway crazy in the head at this point) after arguing with him for a few seconds I finally held my hand out so he would STOP screaming... He grabs my hand and pulls it to his lips and KISSES it. OH. MY. WORRRD!!!! Really??!!?! Really, creepy old man!!?!?!?! REALLY!!!??!? EWWWW!!!!! Then he's like, "Now you can't say that you've never been kissed!!!" I was like ok, I REALLY have to leave now... Crazies, they're ALL crazies and they're taking over the hospital!!!

I went and washed my hands five times.

Yuck. Yuck. YUCK.

THE END.

I would add a picture of some wrinkly old man (clipart)... but I'm at work! HA! and I'll be here until 7 in the morning!! I've been working nights again... COFFEE PLEASE!!!!

Hugs!!! (Unless you're a 78 year old man!!) =)

-Whitney